Crazy Little Thing Called Love
by AnelZac
Summary: Spain and Romano are having new feelings for each other. However, it takes more than just words and a little help from your friends to discover what these feelings are and how to express them. They'll might beat all the barriers and obstacles in order to confess their feelings, but it won't be easy when we are talking about a certain oblivious spaniard and a certain grumpy italian.
1. Chapter 1

"Now, now. Tell me what brings you here." said Emma as she placed a few candies on the table.

It wasn't my intention to visit her. Really. I actually have no idea how I ended up at her place. But don't get me wrong, Emma has always been one of my best friends for a long time, but I wasn't sure if she was the right person to help me.

Ah, sorry. I haven't introduced myself yet.

I am the Kingdom of Spain. My friends call me Antonio, but for the rest of the world knows me as Spain.

People say I am carefree and cheerful. I guess that's true, my only worries usually involve my economy and some politics, but no more. Or at least until a few weeks ago, then I started having these weird feelings. Well, it might be more accurate to say it actually started _months_ ago. Most exactly, since the last World Meeting.

But now I was at Emma's house.

"Antonio? Is everything alright?" Emma asked with a worried face. Ah, I think I spaced out a little.

_"Ah. Yes, yes, everything is fine."_ At least that's what I'd like to say, but I said something different instead.

"Not _everything _is fine, I guess."

She frowned a little.

"What's wrong then? You know you can tell me anything."

"Ah, yes. But where should I begin?"

"I think you should tell me what the problem is first."

"Um"

Emma smiled a little. She had a nice smile. Which reminded me of a kitty. Which reminded me of a grumpy cat. Which reminded me of the cause of my problem.

"Let me guess then~! Does it have to do something with politics or economics?"

I shaked my head.

"No? Then it's something more personal, am I right? So, is it related to a certain Italian we know?"

I lifted my head excitedly, how did she do that? It was just like if she was able to read my mind!

"Yes! These candies are very good, by the way~"

"Thank you very much~! But what problem do you have with our little Roma?"

"Ah, well you see, it all started a few months ago, when the last meeting was held at my place. Remember?"

Emma nodded.

"Well, Lovino stayed at over for a month more, God knows why. And I started, like, getting sick but without getting sick. Do you understand?"

"I don't think so. . . Can you explain it a little bit more?"

"Uh. Well. I started feeling kind of. . . flustered and all. And my face felt hot, like if I had a fever! And I also got a weird feeling in my stomach, uh, what else? Ah, yes, after Lovino went back to Italy, we would sometimes speak on the phone, and I thought those strange things would go away but they just kept coming whenever we were at the phone!" I looked at Emma expectantly after I finished explaining myself. She sure took her time to think. Time I used to finish all the candies, because they were very tasty~

"Antonio?"

"Yes~?"

"Have you been thinking about Romano a lot more lately?"

"How do you know?"

"I'm guessing. And what other stuff has happened with Roma? I mean, besides the phone, haven't you guys talked? Like, in person."

"He came once a month ago. I think he was running away because his brother had brought Germany over"

"And did you got those feelings again?"

"Ah~ yes, I think I did. That and something new."

"What was new?"

"I wanted to hug him all of a sudden and I noticed stuff about him~" Now, talking about this was making me feel embarrased. And feel that thing again. And I thought more about Lovino.

Lovino Vargas, aka South Italy, aka Italy Romano.

The past months made me realize something. I liked to spend time with Lovino. More than before, I mean. And I also realized he. . .

He was b-beautiful. And handsome, too.

The lonely thought made me all flustered again. Ah, there it was, my face felt kind of hot now. Maybe I was getting a fever. I that economy of mine striking once again? And the tingling feeling in my stomach, just in time. Now I wanted to hug Lovino again and stay forever with him.

Now we add the weird thoguhts?

"Antonio, are you listening?" a worried Emma asked.

"Ah~sorry, I think I spaced out again. What were you saying?"

"I asked you what stuff you noticed about him."

"I don't think I want to say that now." I said feeling flustered again. The sensation won't just go away, will it?

"Oh. Well, I think we should wait to see what happens tomorrow at the meeting~"

"There's a meeting tomorrow? And why should we wait?"

"Oh yes, it's been five months since the last one, have you forgot already? Anyway, we should wait because I need to see you both, Roma and you, to make sure of something. Oh, and don't worry, I almost have the solution to your problem~"

"Ah. Thank you very much! Oh, I think I should get going now if I want to get to Madrid in time."

"Sure"

"And could you tell me one more thing? Where is the meeting held?"

"In America."

"Thank you~"

I got into my car after saying goodbye and started driving back to Spain. Unusual enough, I was thinking about a lonely thing: Lovino. I say it was unusual because I get easily distracted, but not now, not about _him_, at least.

Maybe I was getting a hint of the solution, after all.

* * *

_Well guys, this is my first published story. And it's Spamano. I wanted my first one to be Lovely Complex, but I lost the archives time ago._

_Anyway._

_I hope you like it. English is not my first language, so any mistakes let me know and I'll try to edit. _

_Obviously the point of view here was Antonio's, but I think next's will be Lovino's._

_However, see you!_


	2. Lemon Tree

_A/n: Yes, I am back. I wanted to say: thanks for following the story and adding to favorites, it's really appreciated. Also, I'll try to update ever week or so. This chapter is shorter than the first one and I'll post another one after this, because I feel like it and I don't know if I'll be able to do it next week._

_And sorry about the bad summary. I was tired that night and wanted to get it done as soon as possible. Enjoy the chapter, anyway. I do not own the song, by the way._

* * *

**"I'm sitting here in the boring room, is just another rainy Sunday afternoon"**

_(Lemon Tree, Fool's Garden)_

Stupid meeting.

And stupid rest of the world.

Besides taking a plane to America, I had to interact with other countries as well.

But I don't hate them. I like Belgium. And Liechtenstein is nice, too. Seychelles isn't that bad either. And Feliciano was good half of the time, so. . .

Anyway.

All of us could already have gone home, but we couldn't because we needed to get the meeting started first, and we needed a certain spanish bastard to do that.

Spain was missing. The second laziest fucker to ever exist.

The fucking asshole was_ hours_ late. _**Hours**_. I know there's a 7-8 hours flight from Madrid to New York, so God knows when the idiot would appear. And until he did, we all had the obligation of staying in there.

I groaned. And didn't notice the blonde approaching.

"Hello, Roma~ how are you?"

"Gah!" I recognized Belgium when I turned around. But she did fucking scared me!

"How rude! Is that how you greet your friend?" she furrowed her brows. "Now, I asked you something nicely. I'll ask again. How are you?"

"Bored as hell."

"Well, that's better, I guess. Anyway, I wanted to asked you something else ~" Belgium smiled. "Have you talked with Antonio lately? Do you know why he isn't here?"

"No and no. Maybe the idiot forgot the meeting, since he's so stupid and all" I answered. Actually, the first no may or may not had been a lie. What if talked on the phone every once in a while? Or if sometimes I stayed over at his house or vice versa? Belgium didn't need to know that.

"Hey, are you and Toni good friends? Like, really close friends?" she asked as if she could read my mind.

"Wha-what is that supposed to mean!?"

"Is just a question~"

"Why should I answer that, anyway?"

"Can't I know ~?"

I knew she could continue it, so I just answered the goddamned question. Maybe it was a positive one, maybe it was a negative one, who knows. I hoped she was satisfied with that, but she wasn't. She kept doing it! An interrogatory of hell, in which some of the questions made me blush like a fucking schoolgirl who was just falling in love for the first time. A bad and sad analogy, but it's true. I wish it wasn't.

"A last question, Roma~" she finally said.

"Thanks God!"

"Rude. Anyway, what do you-" Belgium was suddenly interrupted by a very pissed-off blond potato. Apparently America and Denmark were so bored, they had the shitty idea of bugging a certain german bastard.

"CUT IT OUT! Denmark, please go back to your seat. We can't wait anymore for Spain. We need to get this done, otherwise we'll have to come again tomorrow. America, just start with the meeting." Germany said. Belgium went back to her seat as well. America stood at the front of the room and started saying something I didn't even bother to listen. I actually just stared at the table before me and prayed, so this crappy day would end already.

Before I knew, I was already sleeping.

And I had one of the weirdest, yet nicest dreams I've ever had.


	3. Can't fight this feeling any longer

_A/n: The chapter is here, as promised. I really hope you guys like the story until now. I swear it will become more interesting as time goes by. _

_Have fun!_

_A/n2: Tecnically, now it's Sunday (01:02 a.m) but meh_

_I do not own the song._

* * *

**"I can't fight this feeling any longer and, yet, I'm still afraid to let it flow.**

**What started out of friendship has gone stronger."**

_(Can't Fight This Feeling, Air Supply)_

The meeting had already started when I arrived. I tried to silently sneak to my seat, but some nations saw me. As I sat down, a rain of paper balls hit my face.

Wow, that was just mean. What did I ever do? Oh, right, I almost forgot most of the latin-american countries aren't very fond of me. And neither are the Netherlands or England. But putting that aside, I did nothing to receive this treatment!

Some of those papers had stuff written on them, but reading them took a lot of effort, so I didn't. Emma was the only one smiling friendly at me, I smiled at her as well and tried to see Lovi, I wanted to see him so much~!

But he was sleeping. Oh. Well, at least he looked peaceful. And cute. So very cute~

I felt that weird-yet-known thing in my stomach again. I remembered Emma said something about the solution to my problem today, but I think I almost get this solved. Almost.

I was so close to the answer and tried to get concentrated on this, but Lovino looked like an angel. I couldn't pay atention to anything else.

Not even to my vibrating phone or to the papers that were still getting to my face. Or to whoever was speaking at the moment.

I really couldn't care less about the fricking meeting. Oh, that's a rhyme~

What was I saying? Ah, I don't know. Anyway, I spent the rest of the meeting staring ar Lovino.

* * *

"So, Antonio, would you mind telling us why were you so horribly late? I almost feel like kicking you in the guts~!" said Francis at the end of the meeting, when we could get out of the room.

"How's that?" I asked, since I didn't understand why did he want to kick me.

"You and you're beautiful ass were _hours _late. Hours the rest of us will never get back. Now, that's sad."

"Uh, yeah, I overslept. I think."

"Why aren't I surprised. However, remember the problem we talked about the other day?"

"I thought I had talked aobut it with Emma." Now I was confused. Was it with Emma or with Francis?

"I bet you did. And you also called me at ungodly hours because you couldn't sleep, so may the world forgive you for interrupting my beauty sleep."

"Ah"

"Antonio!" Emma walking towards us. "I know exactly what your problem is now~"

"You come just in time~. We were discussing about it, my pretty girl" said Francis.

"Then I would bet a cake you have come to the same conclusion as me."

"More likely."

"Wait, wait, wait, wait! I don't get what you guys are talking about! Explain yourselves!" I nicely asked to my friends. Emma and Francis exchanged a knowing look, they both grabbed me from each arm and dragged me to a lonely hall. Emma looked around, confirming we were alone. Francis passed his arms around my shoulders.

"Antonio. From observing the way you look at that young Italian you're fond of, I've had confirmed the suspicions that had been coming across this prodigious mind of mine~" Francis saying. It annoyed me being so close of the answer I wanted and yet so far. Why wouldn't he say it sooner?

"What he means is that you didn't stop looking at Roma, and that confirms the thoughts we all had for a long time." Emma simplified Francis' words.

"Hm-hm. Now, my dear friend, I'm proud to tell you-"

"You're in love, Antonio." Emma cut off again whatever Francis' speech was.

The only thing I said was "Ah", but inside me there was something like a messy mixture of feelings taking over my mind. Happiness. Relief. Surprise. Fear. And lots of love. Oh, now I could name "The Feeling". It was love. It was love after all. It had been love all this time.

"You don't look surprised at all." A concerned Emma said.

"I am not."

"How's that?"

"I had already suspected."

Francis smiled knowingly and started walking away. Before disappearing from our sight, he turned around and said: "But of course, that's something only you can confirm, right~?" He then kept moving.

"Emma, I'll go to talk with Lovino. See you later~!" I didn't gave her the opportunity to say goodbye. I just started running and searching Lovi.

Somehow, it felt good to think of him as "my Lovi". And I hoped I got to call him like that someday.

* * *

For some reason, all the nations were avoiding me. And I couldn't find Lovi. Only Hungary spoke to me, and she told me Lovi was with his brother somewhere. I thanked her and continued with my search. At the end, I found Lovino yelling at Feli. He looked really upset. Lovino, I mean. Not Feli, he's not like that.

"Brother, I'm sorry" I heard a sobbing Feli apologize.

" 'Sorry', my ass. Not only you wake me up from one of the greatest dreams I've ever had, but you tell that potato fuckass to come over! At our house!"

"Lovino~!" I cheerfully said.

"What?" he turned to see me and his eyes widened, he blushed a little and then he greeted me. Kind of.

"Fuck off, I'm talking to Feliciano now" he turned to Feli again "How do you expect me to sleep when you have him over? Fuck, how am I even supposed to enter the house?"

"You could stay at my place~" Oh, where did that come from? Not that I mind having Lovi over, I like him being at my house. It was a nice thing.

"When hell turns cold"

"Or you could stay with Feli and whoever will be with him too"

"Let's get going, bastard" He let go of Feli and walked towards the exit. I followed him, not even paying atention to the sobbing Italian we were leaving behind.

Something was telling me everything would be fine. Everything seemed to be in my favor. Lovi was staying over and I had new/old just noticed feelings for him.

Wait, that could actually be a problem.

* * *

_So short chapters, shame on me, shame on me! I think I'll stick with Antonio's POV, since is easier than Lovino's. _

_Anyway, until next time._


	4. Corro, vuelo, me acelero

_Hello guys! Thank you all of you who followed, you make so happy. Like, you're the only ones that want to read the stuff I write._

_And thank you, Shadowspring, for your lovely review._

_Ah, so good. _

_I was really close to not update because I recently read a fic that has that drama and stuff that hits me mentally hard, and my brain needs time to assimilate it. _

_This chapter was originally thought to be Antonio's POV, but I made it Lovino's at the last minute._

_But I digress._

_I'll just leave you with the story._

* * *

**"No me despierten si es un sueño de amor. . . déjame, que dormir es mejor"**

**(Don't wake me up if I am dreaming of love. . . leave me, it is better to sleep)**

_(Corro, vuelo, me acelero- Timbiriche)_

I blame Feliciano.

If he hadn't invited his stupid potato-eating-boyfriend or whatever they were, I wouldn't have accepted Spain's own invitation.

Fucking hell.

I accepted without thinking it. I should have been mad at him for being late, but not only I forgot that, my dream came back to me when it was already too late to reject him.

Stupid subconscious, toying with me, making me dream about certain lazy, dumb spaniards.

B-but I swear I didn't enjoy it!

. . .

M-maybe I enjoyed it a little bit. . .

. . .

But only a little bit!

Where was I?

Oh, right. My damned mind betraying me.

As I already said, Spain was on that dream. And I was, too. And we were alone.

We were sitting on a couch in a house I didn't recognize and we were kinda cuddling, my head resting on his shoulder and his head resting on mine's. We were also covered by a thin blanket, it seemed like it was winter outside and I probably should have felt the cold, but I was warm instead. We talked and laughed, more than we do in reality.

At some point, I turned around and hugged him, nuzzling against his neck and chest. And he hugged me back. Then, I separated from him a little and lightly lifted my head, Spain's face coming closer and closer to me. . .

And it would've probably continued if a little shit called Feliciano hadn't woken me up. I completely forgot about anything else and started yelling at him for waking me up and ruining my dream, and then because of the potato shithead.

And Spain appeared and took me with him, which was stupid, since I still hadn't thought that much about the dream.

Anyway.

I still don't know how the hell did he managed to avoid all those nations that wanted to 'politely talk' with him, going to the closest airport and trading my ticket, so we could go to Madrid.

When we got in the plane he asked me about the meeting, because he had missed it. Of course my answer was:

"I have no fucking idea. Didn't you notice I was sleeping? Or are you too stupid to see that?" I don't think he even payed atention to me, because he was looking at me with a weird sparkle in his eyes. His green eyes. It was a nice, cute, bright grenn.

No, not bright. Emerald green. Like summer green, I guess.

Not that I thought about it!

"Lovi, why are you staring at me~?" the bastard cheerfully asked.

"S-sh-shut up!" I felt my blood traveling up to my face, and so I turned around.

"Lovino, you really are cute~"

"Shut the fuck up!" That's what I said, but hearing that made me feel unusually happy. Which was odd, since he always tend to call me 'cute', but this time he said in a different way.

It didn't feel the same.

It felt better, though.

* * *

I suppose I fell asleep again. It would've been something good if I hadn't had another dream. I was having a lot of them lately.

Now the setting was different, a little warmer, but still cold. What the hell is the cold weather doing in my mind?

I guess it was autumn or something. And I was with Spain again, but in my dream I called him Antonio.

So weird. We are not that close!

Well. . . he calls me 'Lovi', and that must mean something. Or it would if he didn't call half of the world by their names.

Honestly, that's all I remember about the dream. Me and Ant- Spain! Spain! Me and Spain somewhere during autumn!

Fuck this.

If my mind keeps doing this, then I have no option other than accepting the idea that has been going through my head for a long time.

Or I could not.

Yeah, why should I accept some dumb idea Feliciano implanted on me, just because of the fucked-up dreams I've had! It must be the universe playing some tricks with me!

'Look at this poor loser'

'Let's make him think weird stuff'

'And doubt his heart'

'So then he gets so fucking confused he doesn't even know his damned name anymore and then some more shit will happen'

Maybe I am losing my mind.

When I woke up, we were arriving to Madrid, the plane was just landing.

"Did you sleep good?" asked the oblivious bastard next to me.

"No. How could I sleep good when you're here? Besides, the seat is so fucking uncomfortable it is a surprise I could actually fall asleep!" Lies, of course I slept good, you sucker.

"You seemed happy."

"How could you know?"

"Oh, I know some things~" I panicked, how could he get a clue about my crappy dreams? No, wait, he didn't. He just couldn't. Now, don't panic, Lovino.

"You know shit"

He shuted up after that. Odd.

"Spain"

"Yes~?"

"I came here without thinking it, but I realized I don't have any clothes to change" That put a thoughtful expression in his face, he looked so handsome when he did that.

No.

NO.

"Ah, well, maybe you left some clothes last time you stayed over or I could lend you some of mine until we can get you new ones. . . ahahaha"

"Well, isn't that just fucking great"

* * *

God, I think I forgot how damn big was Spain's house. What did he even need it for these days? He lived alone.

Ant- Spain stood up in the proch while looking for the keys. I felt the impulse of hugging him from behind and nuzzle him.

T-that would be nice. And warm. And good.

And HOLY SHIT WHY ARE DO THIS THOUGHT KEEP COMING BACK TO ME.

I REFUSE TO AKNOWLEDGE THIS THOUGHTS AS MINE.

THEY'RE SOMEONE ELSE'S.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING HERE, BUT THEY SHOULDN'T.

"Spain, I'm going to shower" I said in a gloomy way.

"Okay! But first we have to see if you have some spare clothes~"

"Whatever"

After entering, we went upstairs towards my room, to see if I had, indeed, left clothes. Unfortunately, the only thing left was a pair of boxers. Well done, Lovino, well done.

"Ah, so you don't have any. . ."

"Thanks for the brilliant deduction, jackass"

"It's late already, so I think it's alright if you borrow a t-shirt from me, at least for now. I could go tomorrow to get you stuff" fucking bastard wasn't even paying atention to me.

"Fuck off. I need to shower"

"You can't shower in the bedroom"

I almost face-palmed myself.

"Fuck off, so I can head to the bathroom"

"Oh. Okay. I'll leave the shirt in here. I'll be in my room, tell me if you need something"

"Yeah, yeah, sure" I answered as I pushed him out of my room.

Now, I had to find a bathroom in this fucking house of hell.

May God help me.


	5. Can't fight this feeling

_Hello guys! I had an interesting week, for example, on Friday I was at the school's costume party and I went as a "Catrina", I was the only one dressed like that! So funny. Also, I accidentally made more classmates hate me, I think. _

_I feel like I quote "Can't fight this feeling" a lot, don't I? It should be the fics name~ It's just that I think about Romano and Spain whenever I listen to this, or about any ship, really._

_I'M SORRY BECAUSE THIS IS HORRIBLY LATE. OH MY GOD, I AM SO DISAPPOINTED WITH MYSELF. SORRY, SORRY, SORRY. _

_I'LL BE ON THE SHAME CORNER IF YOU NEED ME._

_By the way, I'll see what I can do next week, because I'll be doing my bimestral exams so. . . I'll try something (or not)_

* * *

**"What started out of friendship has grown stronger,**

**I only wish I had the strength to let it show"**

_(Can't fight this feeling-Air Supply)_

The flight back home was quite interesting. Lovi got this flushed-cute-adorable look on his face~! And I told him! And he blushed! Nice move, Toño!

And I got plenty of time to think, too. About Lovi. And about me. And about this crazy little thing called love. I'd like to know how it happened, what made me see him this way. I practically raised Lovino, so maybe it's wrong I feel this way towards him.. But then he left and became independent, and we built a new relationship, not as siblings or a parental relationship, but as friends.

Yet, i'ts impossible to forget my memories of him as a child. On the other hand, a few centuries aren't that important when you are inmortal.

And there's the fear of hurting Lovino, like I once did long ago. To this day, I don't know if he remembers or not. And if he does, I'm not sure if he has forgiven me. But I'm scared of asking, as I'm scared of being in love, to begin with.

I thought about all of this and more during the six and half hours of the flight. The good thing is, Lovi leaned on me while sleeping. I'm sure it is ilegal to be this cute! But he is~

When we arrived to my house, however, he wasn't happy. I have no idea why, but he kept his distance from me, and I wanted to hug him so bad. . .

But at least, he's still staying over. Even though he doesn't have clothes here and he'll borrow mine until we can get him some. Good thing he left a few trousers last time, ahahahaha~

After leading him to the bathroom (he still gets lost sometimes), I left a shirt on his bed. I figured he could use it until tomorrow or something. It was only a white plain shirt with no drawing on it whatsoever, but still clean and I guess he wouldn't mind wearing it.

What should I do while Lovi's showering? I now know he'll take his time, but. . .

. . .Um. . .

. . .Uh. . .

. . .Ah. . .

. . .I think it's too late for dinner already. . .

And I don't want to go to sleep without a wishing him good night.

I had to stop at the middle of the hall, because I suddenly got a lot of feelings at the same time. Too overhelming! I-I can't let Lovino know anything about it, he'll hate me forever!

HE MUST NOT KNOW

. . .

I'll live with this emotions in secret.

"Oi, bastard. Don't fall asleep in a place like this" I lifted my face and saw Lovi. Guess I stayed on the floor more than I thought. God! He was wearing the shirt I left, and his boxers only. Now, my brain got confused between 'cute' and 'sexy', so I just stared at him until he blushed. "Wha-!? Stop staring, you creepy shit! I just-! I just wanted to-! I can't fucking tell you if you're still doing it!"

I stood up. "Sorry, Lovi. But it's your fault, who said you could look like this?"

"Like what, exactly?!" He furiously asked.

"Like the cutest thing on Earth~!" He smacked me on the face. It hurt. "Okay, not so cute, then. Lovi, what were you going to tell me?"

"I just. . . wanted to. . . say. . .um. . . " He muttered something I didn't manage to catch, so I asked him to repeat it. "I said that-! . . Goodnight, idiot. . ."

I smiled. "Ah, goodnight for you too, Lovi~ But, haven't you slept enough?"

"That's not the point!" He pouted and started to walk away, back to his room. He mumbled something again, but I heard this time. It was something along the lines of 'I kinda missed you'

I missed you too, sweetheart.

I'm just not sure if I am allowed to.

Maybe a little time in 'The Room' is what I need right now.

Whether I like it or not.

* * *

After Lovi left (again), I headed towards the only room in my house that is always locked.

'The Room' is full with stuff from when I owned like almost a half of the world. Things I stoled, things I killed for. Paintings, jewels, vases, even some maps. And my old axe, which I haven't touched in centuries and is covered by a cloth, and I try to avoid looking at it, the memories it brings being too painfull for me. I only came here whenever I needed to think.

Oh, there are Lovi's old dresses. Hehehe, he'd burn them if he knew I still had some. The shelves were full with items gotten from South America. I guess I should have journals or something, that'd make sense but I'm not very fond of writing.

As I observed everything, I remembered the destruction I, in an egoistically way, caused. I fought with some nations. I conquered others. Some still talk to me. Some still hate me. And I hate some of them, too.

Memories of the battlefield pass in front of my eyes. Memories of some happy moments do it too. I look at my hands and I see the blood in them. Blood that doesn't belong to me.

The old Antonio wouldn't have minded this. But I do, and it's horrible to realize you're not even safe in your own mind. Specially because remembering your past can make you think stuff you don't want to.

Do I deserved to be loved if I did so cruel things? Do I even _deserve to love_? To love and hope being loved back by someone I hurt?

Or can I prove the world and myself I can _really _change? But falling in love with someone I once considered something close to my little brother is quite off the limits.

I need advice, but from whom?

* * *

I got out from 'The Room' and locked it again. This didn't help at all, it only made me doubt more.

One side of me wants Lovino. And the other is frightened by the first's thoughts.

Why does love have to be such a crazy and strange thing?

Why?


	6. I won't say it

_Hello! How have you been? I did great during my exams, a ninty in most of them, a one-hundred in chemistry and seventy in math. That's why I'm a writer and an artist._

_These were hard weeks, I've been trying to read "The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes" for class, but I can''t finish it, and all my teacher suddenly thought it'd be a great idea if they all asigned projects at the same time. And I hurt my wrist for a few days thanks to my personal defense class. Yup. Also, I'm waiting for the next "Gakuen Alice" and I fucking swear to God that if Natsume and Mikan don't meet, someone's gonna get a broken nose, and it won't be me._

_Anyway, this is the next chapter, as you can see. I feel it was way too OOC. Thanks to Starfire67, Shiralala and MuseLover99 for reviewing. _

_Enjoy!_

* * *

**"No chance, no way. I won't say it, no, no."**

_(Susan Egan - Hercules)_

My cell phone rang just when I was finally falling asleep. I groaned and reached for it.

"Who's this?" I asked. My question was ansered by a loud known voice.

"Yooo! Toni, Francis told me everything! So you finally got your boy!" I should have known it was Gilbert. He is the only one that calls at ungodly hours, mostly to annoy you.

"What?"

"Or maybe you haven't? I would have already kissed him if I was you, sadly, you aren't me." He laughed. It took me a minute to process that. So Francis told him, huh? "Toni? You still there? How dare you leave me hanging here!"

"Yes, I'm here, sorry."

"Don't do that! So, is Romano with you?" I nodded and then remembered he couldn't see me, so I answered. "How sneaky! I think you spend too much time with Francis. I enjoy being alone, but for your own sake, I'll let you spend more time with me! Maybe some of my awesomeness will get rubbed on you!"

"What do you mean?"

He sighed. "Nothing. What moves have you made on that Italian?"

"None. . ."

"You're loosing your time, then! If he's there, you have to take advantage of the opportunity! Don't waste chances like that! Really, you do realize this is a perfect moment, right?"

"Gil. . . I don't think I want to make any moves on him" I said. I still wasn't sure if it was fine to be in love with Lovino. Apparently, Gilbert saw no problem in that, but again, _ he is Gilbert._

"What" I could imagine the exact face he put in that moment. A face of complete disbeliefment. "You've finally lost your mind!" He concluded after contemplating it for a minute.

"Why would you say so?" I asked him, a little hurt from his words.

"Because it seems that's the damn truth. Wait, Francis wants to talk to you."

"You're with Francis?"

"Antonio, my dear, what happened? This brick here won't tell me. You sound unusually cheerless" That was indeed Francis. So they were together.

"Nothing, is just. . ."

"Oh, come on. You know you can tell big brother everything. I saw you going with your pretty Italian"

"That's not really the problem"

"What is it then?"

"Am I sick?" Silence in the line. I wondered if he had heard me. "Francis, you didn't hang up, did you?"

"No, I was just wondering what did you exactly mean with 'sick'"

"Ah. Well, is it right I love Lovino?"

". . . I think you'll have to be more specific. . ."

I was starting to get a little annoyed. "Like, I raised Lovino, right? So isn't it wrong to be in love with him?"

More silence. I could only hear Gilbert saying something through the other side of the line. Probably whining about Francis having his phone.

Francis spoke again after a while. "Listen Antonio, what I'm about to tell is important" he said, sounding serious all of a sudden. "That's something you have to figure in your own. But realize Romano is not a kid anymore, and any of you is a simple human being."

That left me even more confused.

"Enough already. Give me my phone, you beared jerk!" Gilbert was in charge of the phone again. "Toni, I have to hang up. Apparently, someone doesn't mind spending my minutes!" He hanged up. There are times when I wonder why they are my friends.

I glanced at the clock on the table next to my bed. It looked like I wouldn't get any sleep if I didn't close my eyes in that very moment, so I did it.

The last thing I thought about was Lovino.

My precious Lovino.

* * *

Stupid asshole. Why did he let me sleep so much? And why did I trust him in the first place? My sleeping schedule will be so fucked up tomorrow.

On the other hand, maybe it's better I don't sleep. Otherwise, I'll get those weird dreams again. Dreams involving Anto-Spain! Yeah, that.

Assuming my 'theory' is right, then I have finally gone mad.

Mad for- Okay I'm not saying it. Not even thinking it.

No.

What should I do now that I'm obviously not sleeping? Watching TV is not an option, I never learned enough spanish to understand it.

This is boring. I should remember not to sleep that much during the day.

Maybe I should use this time for throwing my theory out of the window and convincing myself this weird-ass feeling and fucking fast-beating heart aren't because of that bastard.

Even if the stupid voice in the back of my mind is telling me to stop being a fucking moron and just give in.

The best option is to do a 'Why I Hate Spain' list.

He always has a stupid bright smile that isn't comforting at all.

His hair is so annoying. It looks so soft, it's tempting. Who the hell told him he could have that hair?

His damned personality, being so happy and cheerful all the time, always 'Lovi! Come and look what I found!' Or 'Lovi, don't you want to come stay over?'

He is always over me. And looking for me. And taking care of me. And listening to all my pointless complains. . .

I hate how he always says my name, how he calls me with that frustrating fucking voice of his. . . and the way that same voice makes me feel all calm and happy. . . and. . . his face kinda. . . makes me feel glad.

Or his eyes, for all that matters. Those green eyes are so bright and charming I inmediately feel heartlightled. . .

Okay, I may or may not have completely missed the point in this. . .

I fell of the bed. Now my heart was beating even faster than before, if that was fucking possible. Stupid Spain. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, cute idiotic bastard.

I-I said 'cute'. . .

"GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!" You know, screaming at the top of your lungs when you are frustrated can sometimes be relieving, if you don't forget it's the middle of the night and there's a stupid spaniard sleeping somewhere else in the house.

Yeah.

I spent the rest of the night awake thinking about the same damned thing over and over, until it was late enough to go and wake that jerk up. When I entered his room, he was sleeping with one hand above his head and the other below a pillow. Stupid. I poked his cheek.

"Oi, Spain. Wake up and make breakfast, bastard." Nothing. Fucking Spain. I started poking him more. No shit. I closed his nose with my thumb and my index finger.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

He woke up gasping for air. Ha, serves him right. He looked around, a bit disturbed, then he saw me. And smiled. And I had to fight to hide my own smile (and blush).

"Idiot. Just get up and go make breakfast." I said, turning around, so he didn't catch a glimpse at my face, which sure as hell was bright red. I heard Spain getting up and strechting, then walking towards me. He hugged me and said:

"Good morning, Lovi." He then left the room, and I stayed there, not understanding why a single hug from him could feel so nice and warm.


	7. How did I fall in love with you

_Hello friends! As you may (or may not) know, yesterday (November 1st) was Day of the Dead and today is Day of the Saints. We built an altair to Steve Jobs in school and it took two and half hours, but it was as fun as always. Today I visited the cementery, it's curious how the people will eat and have fun at the tombs, there is even music! It is kinda nice. Just as a random fact about me: one of my favorite flowers is the _'cempazuchitl', _a traditional flower that grows at this time of the year and is used at this celebration._

_I was reading some of the earlier chapters and I noticed many mistakes, what a shame. I also remembered I said writing Antonio's POV was more difficult than Lovino's, but never mind, it has become the same._

_Anyway, enjoy this chapter and thank you Starfire67 for reviewing._

* * *

**"What did I say? What did you do? **

**How did I fall in love with you?"**

_(F__all in love with you - Backstreet Boys)_

Our breakfast consisted of eggs, fried tomatoes and toasted bread, with orange juice. Simple, yet tasty. However, there was something out of place in Spain's face. He seemed. . . sad? Worried? At least I knew he wasn't as cheerful as usual. We ate in silence, except for the ocasional comment. During our meal, I observed him.

But just because I didn't have anything else to look at, damn it!

Anyway, I noticed . . . He looked kinda c-cute.

"Lovi, you're blushing" said the bastard, though his cheeks turned slight pink seconds after.

"You- you too!"

"A-ah, is that so?" Spain blushed more. He turned to his side so I couldn't see him. After a moment, he turned to face me again and chuckled. "I'll go to town to get you some clothes, are you coming too?"

"Like hell I'll be out in publlic wearing your clothes!"

Spain nodded. "Okay, I'll take a shower and then leave."

"Just leave already." And he did.

When he came downstairs again, he was wearing jeans and black shirt, with the sleeves rolled to his elbows. He didn't look that bad. Ok, maybe he looked handsome, alright?!

There was a spot on his hair that was less combed than the rest, I walked towards him and combed it down with my fingers. Spain blushed and covered his mouth with his hand.

"Okay Lovi, I'll be back soon."

'Yeah, take care.' That's what I wanted to say. Instead it was: "Don't bring any shitty clothes."

Spain nodded and left.

And I stayed alone with nothing to do. Just like last night.

Great.

My restless night was making me pay at the very moment, so to distract myself, I explored some rooms I haven't seen in a long time. The library (that no one ever used), the ball room (same situation), the dormitories once occupied, but now empty, bathrooms (goddamnit!) and the forbidden room.

The phone rang just as I was entering the living room again. I answered it, even though it wasn't my house.

"Ah, Roma~ Good to find you." Belgium. She didn't sound surprised to the fact of me being at Spain's house.

"Hello, Belgium. How did you know I was here?"

"Everyone saw you leaving with Antonio, sweetie. And you're always there anyways."

Just fucking great.

"I'm not always here!"

"Sure. But that's not what I wanted to talk about." She carried on while I was mentally cursing myself. "Remember I was about to ask you something important at the meeting?"

". . . Yeah. . ."

"Okay. I want you to answer honestly. No lies." I agreed. It's not like I had any fucking choice really. "Alright. Roma, what are your thought on Antonio?"

"He's an idiot." My answer was automatical.

"No. . . I mean, what you feel for him."

"W-what!? What the hell are you even thinking about!?"

"I'm asking if you love him." I was stunned. Me? Love An-Spain? Oh, fuck it.

Me? Love? Love Antonio?

It-it could be? I mean, all the crazy things that had been happening (more like 'been feeling') would make sense in that case.

B-but why? Why _**him **_from all peple?

"Romano, are you ok?" A worried Belgium asked.

"No! I-I mean, yes! I mean, I don't know." The last words were pronounced quietly.

"I'm sorry! I didn't thought it would upset you that much!"

"I'm not upset."

"Huh?"

I repeated myself.

"Ah, then could please you answer my question? You can take your time, of course~"

What should I do? Tell her or not? I've always trusted Belgium, but this. . .

A voice in the back of my mind told me it was fine to tell her, another voice, however, said it'd be better to keep it secret from anyone. Actually, I wasn't even sure I loved him to begin with. However, my thoughts on the last days (or weeks, in any case) said I shouldn't have any doubts.

"Y-yes. I think I l-love him or something." My voice trembled and I could feel my face heat under the influence of the blush that was quickly spreading.

"It's alright, sweetie."

* * *

I hoped Lovi liked the clothes I bought for him. I tried to choose clothes that fit his style. Or that just fit him well. It was good to have a distraction from my ponderings. Since Lovi woke me up, I had kept thinking what Francis told me, his words kept coming back: 'Realize Romano is not a kid anymore, and any of you is a simple human being.'

The first part was easy enough. I have always been aware Lovino isn't a child anymore, and he has gotten very handsome. The second part, however, was more difficult, or so it seemed.

I knew neither me nor Lovino was a simple human, we're both nations. I don't even think we can qualify as humans.

I have seen the other ones around me, humans and not humans. The ones that are mortal just try to live their lives as best as they possible can, try to find love, so they can die without regrets after eighty years, if they have luck. The inmortals just watch them die. We get through wars and all kind of calamities to the point some just can't believe in hope anymore and yet they do it.

It's not uncomon for a nation to fall in love with another, or even with humans.

But it neither it is to get hurted from it.

When I arrived home, it was already lunch time (I sure took my time). Since I was in town, I thought it'd be good to buy the groceries too. I opened the door and entered the house. I left the bags with Lovi's clothes in the living room and the groceries in the kitchen. Lovi was nowhere in sight.

"Where are you, Lovi?" No response. I tried again. "Loviiiiii."

I was about to call him again when I heard something provenient from the garden.

"I'm here, stop yelling!" Lovi entered the kitchen and came inside the kitchen. He was rubbing his eyes (how cute~) and there were a few stains of grass in his hair. "Really, it's not like I would go anywhere."

"Ah, sorry. I left your clothes in the living room, ok? And what do you want for dinner?"

"W-whatever you want is fine with me. And thanks for doing this for me."

"Doing what?"

"You know, buying me clothes and all." Lovi looked away from me and spoke quietly. He had always did that whenever he said something nice, it never really bothered me, since he looked so inocent and cute. Lovino walked to the living room, grabbed the bags with his clothes and rushed to his room. I stayed in the kitchen and put the groceries away. Maybe a veggie soup will do for lunch. Something simple and tasty.

I hummed while the soup boiled. I was serving it just as Lovi came downstairs and to the dining room. He was wearing a pair of skinny jeans and a black long-sleeved shirt that fitted him just right, all with the sneakers I also thought of bringing.

"You idiot, you bought too many things for me." The words said were acompanied by a pout. "It's not like I will stay here forever or something."

"Don't make a fuss about it. I wanted to do it, so it's fine." I didn't mentioned the fact I spent almost all of the money I had for the month. "The soup is ready, sit and eat."

"You did a soup."

"Not just a soup, a veggie soup."

"Lazy bastard." We ate in silence, like in the morning. My Lovi was deep in thought, and one of those thoughts made him smile slightly, I don't think he even realized what he was doing. But the sight of Lovino Vargas smiling with no apparent reason made me smile as well. That action made me wonder what could possibly make me fall in love with Lovi. There had to be something, a reason.

Tell me, Lovino, what happened between us?


	8. Around You

_My God! This is so short, I'm sorry, I've been busy this week and I have barely even slept and I had a very important admission exam this morning, so. . . That's why this shitty filler chapter, sorry, I am really, really sorry._

_Thanks kyouno-aru for the review._

_I am so ashamed._

* * *

**"Do you feel what I feel? Well?**

**Do you feel this way too?"**

_(Around you - Ingrid Michaelson)_

"So, what do you want to do now? We can watch a movie or we can just go to see the crops." Antonio asked me. A good question actually, since there's nothing to do here. I told him to watch a movie, I needed to plan something quick and the crops would only draw my attention away.

Belgium had said I should confess to Antonio, after all 'you have nothing to lose.' Yeah, nothing except an almost fucking perfect friendship. Thanks, Belgium.

As much I hate to admit it, she was right. I had to say something, Antonio's thickness could make me suffer in silence for thousands of years and that is something I would prefer to avoid.

"So?"

"Stop bugging me! It'll be the fucking movie, okay? Just shut up!"

"Fine. I'll clean this while you choose a movie, alright?"

"Whatever." I went to the TV room and looked for the dvds he had. Aside from his novelas and tv series, there were few movies, some of them were unknown to me, others I knew, but I wasn't in the mood to watch them. At the end I chosed randomly, I don't even remeber what was the title or what was it about, just that it was a comedy. And it was stupid.

Antonio finished whatever he was doing and came to sit beside me, the movie had already started. I paid no attention to it because I was thinking of ways to casually drop my confession. Of course, I had nothing.

You can just say something like that, damnit! And specially not to someone like him! Antonio is so fucking dense he would never get a clue!

No existing words could help me with this!

Oh fuck. No words, but actions.

Oh my fucking god, actions.

I looked to my side, only to see a fast-asleep Antonio, lying on the couch. He seemed calmed and I observed him for a little, and that made me sleepy too. Slowly, I move until I was resting in top of him, which didn't help.

My head was in his chest and I could listen to his calm heartbeat, my mind was being drawn into unconciousness when I heard a quiet muffled words. I ignore it, until it happened again.

"Lovino, eres hermoso." I realized Antonio was talking in his sleep.

Wait, what?

He said my name, I know that at the least, but the other words. . . Why didn't I never fucking bothered to properly learn Spanish!? That stupid language, and how he dares to dream in Spanish when I am here?

I slowly calmed down until I did fall asleep, just listening to Antonio's heartbeat and wondering what the hell had he said. Idiot me, it's not easy just tell you I love you.

* * *

_Translation: "Lovino, eres hermoso." - "Lovino, you are beautiful."_


	9. La La

_Hello guys! I know last week's chapter sucked, but hey, I hadn't sleeped and it was a stressful week, add a writer's block and you get that. Anyway, I am back to work now. By the way, I've been informed this is a very fluffy fic, is my fanfic the fluffiest of them all? I have also been told 'sleeped' is not a verb, I apologize but I keep forgeting that one!_

_i'm sorry because this is kind of short too, but not as much as the one before. And yes I know what the song is about, but those two lines actually work fine with this chapter so. . ._

* * *

"**What would you do if I told you that I la-la-la-love you?**

**Do if I said it tonight?"**

_(La La-The Cab)_

I woke up from my siesta and remembered I was supposed to be watching a movie with Lovi. Hoping he wouldn't get mad, I attempted to get up, only to find I couldn't. Lovi was sleeping on top of me, how cute~

My heart started pounding from the scene that was taking place, he must have fell asleep while I was sleeping. There was no way I could get up without disturbing Lovi, I ruffled his hair a little. My so precious Lovino. . . in my dreams I saw you, smiling for me. I have only seen Lovi smile to pretty girls, like Emma and ocasionally Hungary, but for me he only did in a mocking way. I'd wish he smiled to me, but not any smile, sincere happy grin. That'd be so nice.

I thought about what Francis said while I carefully petted Lovi's head.

I had came to the conclusion it meant something along the lines of "no one stays a kid forever." Starting from there, it was pretty much easier to come to a rational thought.

Lovino hadn't stayed a kid forever, he grew up became a man, easy enough.

Did it meant. . . dit it meant it was fine to love my Lovi?

Oh, so that was what Francis was trying to tell me all along! I felt relieved I finally cracked the code. Now to the other matter.

Why did I fell in love with Lovino? I admit he's wonderful, but there must be something else.

But being with Lovi like this. . . makes me think it really doesn't matter.

I started getting bored after a while, so I poked Lovi's face until he gained conciousness again. He lazily opened his eyes and looked at me for a moment, until he noticed he was on top of me.

"Y-y-you bastard!" Lovi's face became red, he stood uo and turned, his back facing me. I got up as well. "Idiot, how you dare falling asleep and then saying stupid stuff."

"Ah, yes, sorry. Uh, what did I say before?"

"You fucking talk in your sleep!" Oh god, what could have I said?

"And what did I say?"

"How the hell am I supposed to know? You fucking said it in Spanish." Ah, good thing Lovi never really learned Spanish. He walked away mumbling something about 'moronic spaniards' and I turned off the dvd player and the TV. When Lovi came back, he already had a glass of wine in his hand. He took a sip of it and then looked at me. "H-hey, you idiot, I m-need to tell you something and it's really im-important."

"Mhm, just tell me." Lovi seemed nervous about whatever he was going to say. I smiled to encourage him, which only made him even more nervous. "Lovi?"

"Don't smile like that, asshole."

"Why not."

"Just- don't. See, I wanted to ask you if you-you like someone?" By now Lovi wasn't the only one that was blushing, I had a red face too. "It's not that I care! It's just you've been acting all weird and shit!"

"A-ah, well, yes, there is someone I l-like."

"A-and who is it?" We weren't looking at each other anymore. I didn't want to tell him like this, it had to be something more special. But I might as well give him an answer.

"Is the most wonderful person I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. Lovino, do you like someone as well?"

"Wha-! Well, maybe I happen to like someone. And maybe that person happens to be. . . perfect." The last word was a whisper. Lovino's face was as red as posible, and mine was not better. "Y-you know, you said my name while you were sleeping." With those words said, Lovino left to his bedroom. I stayed there with my heart beating so fast it seemed it had stopped. Desperately I looked for my cell phone for two minutes, finding it behind a cushion. I thought who should I call, Emma? Francis? Gilbert?

I dialed Francis' number. For some reason, I panicked while I waited for her to pick up.

"Hello?"

"Francis, I need help."

"What can I help you with?"

"With Lovi."

"Mmm. What kind of problems are you having with your dear Romano?"

"I want to know why am I in love with him. Also I almost confessed to him."

"My dear friend, you can't have an answer for love. Love knows no reasons. And I see no problem, there, you could have confessed and that's it."

"I want it to be special."

"Then make it special."

"How?"

"I can't help you with that, it depends on you and on your little Italian. What did you exactly said?" I told Francis what had happened. After I finished, he said "Well, you just have to plan something, don't you?" And then hung up.

I was confused. I was certain I had to make it special for Lovi, otherwise he might feel bad.

But what could be a good way?

**0o0o0**

Four days passed after that incident, Lovi and I avoided each other, evry time we saw the other coming to the same room we escaped and only stayed together for meals. Lovino was acting strange, he never looked me in the eyes and also seemed a little bit clumsier than before. He made dinner two times, which surprised me since Lovi never wanted to do anything that had to do with chores, yet there he was cooking for both of us.

But the nights were the worst part of all. I started to have nightmares, all of them inclufing Lovi in some kind of danger. I would wake up in the middle of the night, remembered Lovi was sleeping safely in another room and somehow fell asleep again with the feeling I wasn't alone at all.

One afternoon it ocurred to me that maybe it wouldn't be such a good idea to tell Lovi I love him, he'd reject me in favor of whoever he liked. And that certainly couldn't be me.

As much as I wished it was me. During one meal, I asked him. "Lovi, would you mind telling me who you like?"

"Yes, I would mind!"

"Ah, I see." Lovino didn't trust me enough, not even after all this time, but I would respect his privacity. If he didn't want me to know, then I'd leave it like that.

That night I had one of the worst nightmares I've ever had.


End file.
